I know i have been gone for awhile without posting or keeping Y’all updated and i constantly get emails making sure im still alive. I’M here!. The last few months have been my hardest… Ive gone really down hill from cutting every night again to cheating on the love of my life. I’ve lost who I am and I feel as if its tearing my relationship apart. Its so hard for me to...
I’ve been very hesitant to letting Jon see me… A few days ago I was taken to “the house” they tied me up and they did what they wanted and when they were done I got what I deserved a whip to the back multiple times and if i made a noise or even tried to scream it was a kick in the stomach or punch in the face. I’m pretty bruised and cut up but I wasn’t going to...
Okay. This is more of a rant than a story. In high school my (now ex) boyfriend and I made a sex tape. Well we got into a stupid fight last night and he is threatening to put it out there. I know everyone say “well if your face isn’t in then don’t worry” Well it is and I’m terrified of him putting it out there. HELP!?!?
Really How Am I An Attention Whore?
I got an email this morning from a person who said i need to just shut down my blog that im too much of an “attention Whore” well i dont blog for people to feel bad for me i do it so people can read about what ive been through and for people to understand that my life hasnt always been easy and im NOT perfect. Im sorry my blogs are so downer i will be posting more happy upbeat blogs...
A: “When will you be having more babies????? All your children are so adorbzzz” Q: Haha i don’t know yet but when the time is right Maybe in a Year or so :P
Q: Do you have a job? A: Yes, I got hired as a receptionist at Round Rock High School
Q: #1Do you miss your “baby daddy”?, #2Would you ever get back with him? A:#1Honestly as a boyfriend no. As a best friend a little bit. We have been getting along a lot better lately and it makes me miss him more. I cant see myself with him ever again but every...
I love this song <3
im so confused with my life right now……
Q: If you and your boyfriend ever break up would you go back to girls and find a girlfriend? A: If we ever break up I think i’m done with the whole relationship thing for awhile and gonna focus on my kids, school, and finding myself a career. When i think about breaking up my first thought is to crawl under a rock and die cause i would be lost without him.
I was asked to update on the whole road trip situation. I’m Stuck outside Round Rock-.-
Breaking Point & Relationship Story.
Lately my Boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch where all we want is to be with each other let me say LONG DISTANCE SUCKS! We will have been together for a year on the 24th. We haven’t even been together physically yet. A year with no physical contact really sucks! Jon is the love of my life he makes me so happy and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I just...
Pop 'em And Fall Asleep
Haven’t told anyone this…. My addiction to pain killers has gotten worse nobody really knows that i take pain killers or that i take them daily. To me it helps with my anxiety and depression cause i just take a few and pass out for a little bit wake up with a smile feeling so much better. I have been thinking of going to a rehab center and getting help. The only reason I am posting...
Cut Deep And Close Your Eyes
Lately things have been very hectic in my life. From Aubrey getting sick to Audrey’s car accident. Laying in bed in the quiet gives me time to think sometimes that’s bad. 5:30am yesterday I was done I took the blade out of my razor and dug it deep into my wrist closed my eyes and laid there on the floor. Was hoping nobody would find me and that nobody would care. 6:46am i wake up to a...
Slut In Training
She was really nervous as she stood in the cold. It was dark and there was no one around, and for the first time she began to really panic. Did she really know what she was letting herself in for? He had told her everything she had wanted to hear; he was going to use her as his toy, degrade her, humiliate her, abuse her as he likes. Every time she had messaged him, his authority over her had...
I LOVE YOU. You make me feel like everything wrong in my life will get better. As of right now you are the only person that can make me feel better and happy. I cant even explain the way you make me feel. I just wanna be in your arms right now all cuddled up staring into your eyes. I cant wait to finally get to hold your hand and show you all the affection I’ve been holding in for the past...
Okay so I started Chemo-Therapy today and let me say CANCER SUCKS! The whole time i was just sick and exhausted and wanting to leave. I sat there for about four hours and was in tears it was so painful. During Chemo a little girl came into my room she was around six or seven she sat in the chair next to me and told me about how she had been living in the hospital for the past two months. We drew...
I Don't Know How To Title This..
I can say things have gotten better for me. Yes i do still battle with my Anxiety and Depression but i still can go through the day with a smile. Having a family and boyfriend that want to help and make me laugh and smile is probably what gets me through my day. For me i do have those moments where i’m in a very dark place and want to cut but have learned that i can go to someone and vent...
This song is probably the only one that i can...
Beat and left to die..
Getting out of an Abusive marrige where you are beat every night and when ever he comes home makes you really afraid of men. A week before finalizing our divorse we were in a pretty bad fight one that led to him taking a knife to my face leaving a scar from my eye to my chin. I remeber him whispering “try and tell anyone and you will never see Aubrey grow up.” Scared that he was going...
Surfing is my way of relieving the stress in my life. I try to surf instead of use drugs or drink. STAY STRONG<3
Is It Weird that i miss this?
Maybe its just cause of our Babies but i think about him every day…
Lost in my life...
Been going through a very dark part of my life. Been really upset and pretty much dont like to be alone with the fear that will try to hurt myself… Yes, i use self harm as an outlet but i hate that i do that to myself. Cutting yourself is very harmful and i try very hard not to. Cigarettes seem to take the pain away but do cause a nasty habit. Everyone in my family tells me that i need to...